Friday

And I am ever so glad it is. I'm feeling a bit rundown at the moment. That concerns me a little, I'll admit, seeing as I'm only two weeks in, but my hope is that things will get better as I get accustomed to my new schedule as opposed to worse as more and more weeks of work pile on my back. We shall see. I'll keep you posted.

You see, those who know me will not be surprised when I say this is essentially the first semester when I've ever had to "work" at school. I mean, high school I just breezed through, did the minimum I could to succeed. The first go at college I didn't work hard at all, for obvious reasons. Last semester I worked a little, but I mean really only two of my classes required any work at all. This semester the number has doubled, and the workload has pretty much doubled as well, as I've mentioned in other posts.

The hope, because if this isn't the case I may be headed for disaster, is that my current state of exhaustion is a result of the newness of actually working, actually exercising my brain for any prolonged periods of time. I mean, I worked hard at my jobs during my hiatus, but I mean, it didn't actually require much (read: any whatsoever) use of my mind. It's funny, physically I feel in good form. My body is ready to go...I think the walking to and from class every day has kept me in reasonably good shape. It's my brain that has atrophied a little in recent years. Just like exercising a muscle for the first time in a while can be very painful, I think that actually thinking for most of the day, every day, is driving me into the ground right now. Hopefully, as my brain gets stronger, things will get easier.

That's the story I'm sticking with, because I think positive thinking will make me more likely to follow the golden path, and pessimism will point me towards doom. So, I'll repeat: I really think things will get easier as I get used to the increased workload. I have no doubts whatsoever. I'm utterly confident of my ability to do this.

Not lies, by any stretch of the imagination...but not whole truths either I guess. Working on it. Optimism doesn't come naturally to me. Until next time...