How I Almost Lost My Mind (Or How I Got Here Part 2)

Do you want to hear a great way to drive yourself over the deep end? Do you want to be completely stressed and freaked out by the college experience long before your first test or even your first class? Do you want to go a good week without getting more than four hours of sleep? Well, then I have got the best advice you could possibly ask for.

Welcome back, welcome back. I promised at the end of my last post that I would finish the story of the odyssey that culminated in my winding up at UM, and every now and then I like to keep my word. I learned one very important thing this past August. If you want to experience all of the fun I described in that first paragraph and more, choose a college a week before orientation starts. Try it, it's fun. It'll drive your parents crazy, surprise the hell out of everyone around you and make your life intolerably difficult for a week or so.

OK, so if you haven't detected the sarcasm thus far, let me spell it out for you. Whatever you do, even if you take no other advice from this blog whatsoever, remember this. Please, make your college decision long ahead of time. Believe me, it's in your best interest. Whether or not you know this yet, there are a LOT of things that need to be done before you move to Miami or wherever else you choose, and a week really isn't enough time to do them all.

As I detailed in post numero uno, I pretty much put everything in my college application process off until the very last minute. So, in the end, I made my decision to come to UM on August 9th. Transfer orientation started on August 17th. Now, you might think, eight days is all sorts of time. OK, well factor in a day before orientation (at least) to set up your living space. That leaves seven days. Now, just for the sake of argument, we'll use my case and add two days to drive to Miami. That leaves five days. Now, two of those days are Saturday and Sunday, and it's virtually impossible to do anything involving business on those two days. So let's just say we'll spend those two days packing. That leaves three days to find somewhere to live, get your car serviced (we wouldn't want to have it break down on the way, would we?), get your medical forms signed by your doctor, and...well I really don't remember what else; I've tried to block those days out. Just take my word for it. It's not...enough...time. Well, obviously, I'm here, so it's enough time. But it's not enough time to get things done, sleep, and keep your sanity. Oh, and did I mention that August 9th is my birthday? What a fun way to spend a birthday.

Alright. Deep breath. Let's assume that, as I did, you survived this ordeal and made it down here to Coral Gables. Wow, thank God that's over. Now we can relax, right? Of course not! There's more stuff to do once you get here than there was before you left. Odds are your apartment's unfurnished. If you drove a Volvo sedan to college, as I did, that means you have to buy all of the furniture here. And put it together. If you've never had the opportunity to put together cheaply made Target furniture for a day or two, you haven't lived. Nothing's cut right, holes don't line up, parts are missing, and the instructions are printed so poorly that you can't read them. And, of course, you're going on very little sleep, which always makes these types of things easier. Grocery trips, other shopping trips, unpacking, and whatever else you think needs to be done before school starts will, I repeat, will take at least twice as long as you expect. Once again, give yourself more time than you think you need. If you take this advice, you'll thank me for it later.

But overall, don't worry too much. I've painted a pretty grim picture here, I'll admit, but even if you fall into the worst-case-scenario here and end up with as little time as I had, you still have a chance of survival. I mean, I got through it. My apartment is pretty decently set up, my mother and I didn't have any significant fights while she was here, and I didn't develop crippling alcoholism in the process. I already had that. You know, runs in the family, what can I do? And the best part about it is that after all of this trouble, school seems easy by comparison. I have to two English papers due on the same Monday? Well, I'd take four on the same day before I relived that week in August.

Brevity, once again, is not my strength. I'm afraid this is going to be a pattern. I'll sign off for now. I'm going to see Eastern Promises tonight, and that should be fun. If it's anywhere near as good as A History of Violence it's a definite must-see. I'll let ya'll know when I write next week. Peace.